Some days you wake up cold.  Like all the warmth in your body receded. It’s some sort of hypothermia, only it isn’t your body that’s cold but your feelings. The certain warmth that usually perks you up each morning, enough for you to be excited and anticipating suddenly is missing. Perhaps dream stole it away and taken it somewhere you can never find them again. Dreams rarely repeat itself in succession so you’re certain that the warmth will be gone for a long time; if it ever comes back again. Rarely, warmth is ever the same. So, that once familiar glow will be lost forever. It’s irreplaceable. The truth is; dreams never take away anything from us, circumstances do.

Circumstances. Sometimes I think they are cold, emotionless, ruthless and with complete disregard of what we truly feel. They are not human at all. They just happen. Often times without a warning. You just woke up one day with a new set of saddening experiences.  Right in front of you is a situation you never saw coming. Not even a precognition of some sort that your life will be on a detour or will be derailed. You wouldn’t know what to do. But maybe there are signs. Maybe, we human beings are just blindsided.  We choose to see only those we want to perceive. Present circumstances are brought about by circumstance in the past. Life is a series of events that continuously reel until it reaches its final frame; consequences after another. Why then do we always get caught surprised? No matter what we do, we just can’t and won’t be able to prepare. Preparation is for a planned event and life is never a planned event, it hardly is.

Ending of a relationship is one of those circumstances. Missing the one you love and crying over them for days and sleepless nights is yet another. Moving on is still another. Getting used to being alone again is another of those anothers. Facing these circumstances is like getting used to the cold, to the sudden rain that dampens your body leaving you soaking wet. Warmth is drawn away. You shiver endlessly like you’ll never feel warm again. Until the cold pierce right to your core and suddenly you get used to it. You got used to getting used to. And then you won’t complain anymore.  You won’t feel cold anymore because it’s cold enough in the inside. You just knew, on nights like these, you have to draw the blanket tighter onto your body until it becomes your second skin. You stay in bed fetal-positioned, embracing yourself, hoping to dream of the past, the happy ones the most.  Somehow wish that dream will take bitter circumstances away and wake you up to a better one. Who knows dream might just take it away.

Eventually you have to wake up and stop dreaming and yes some days you’ll wake up cold but once you’re used to it, it won’t hurt anymore. You just have to live it through. Maybe I will.